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Archive for February, 2010

 

    I resist the impulse to blog because, well honestly, so few people read it. Blogging to me is an exercise in social masturbation and minor personal catharsis. Yet how cathartic can it be if I feel like I am trying to save water by pouring it through a sieve?    So I write as a therapeutic Taoist Way of dealing with this life  so barren, so lacking in intimacy externally, yet so warmed by the currents of rich internal river of perception and analysis. I project no outcome, and expect no ego gratification.

Often at the place where these two points of awareness meet, the inner and the outer, I feel the inner space expanding at the expense of the outer. The material world shrinks from my awareness perhaps as a means of self-protection. Things are getting ugly out there.

So I have resigned myself to write as an exercise in futility. And I do so while convincing myself that doing  the right thing for the right reason brings the right effect, and let it go.      Then I backslide  and ask myself  Well Sister, if no one reads it, then why bother?  Now it’s getting ugly in here.   Then I remember. I know the reason I blog, remnded by friend who said to me

“But what if it helps one person. What if it eases one person’s suffering?”

So today I do research for the web site that I am perpetually working on, TransgenderLifeSupportServices, and I ran across the website for Naropa University. Naropa enters my awareness so frequently that my brain tries to squeeze some fatalistic forecast out of it. Like maybe I belong there as student and/or teacher.   But that’s impossible. I can’t belong there, based on my unique status as a Two Spirits person. I don’t belong anywhere.

My feelings are all about  Transsexual Class Oppression factor, a very real aspect of our society. Trans people aren’t an oppressed minority. We are an oppressed subset of every other group or minority that exists or has ever existed. We are the people who the oppressed oppress.

But still…many of my inspirations have a relationship with that place. Allen Ginsberg,  B.K.K. Iyengaar, and my friend Kate who lives there and is in that circle. Yet I do have concerns about the classism.. And being at the bottom of the social food chain, I have no resources…and no reason to hope for anything that my resemble success.

And that’s sad for me and the people who will never hear what I have to say. Mine is not a very popular view but most great philosophies, note I did not say great philosophers, must age like fine wine before their relevance is widely known. And I happen to think that my philosophy is as profound as any other.  Socrates may have been a great philosopher in his time, but verily I say unto thee  Socrates WAS NO TRANSSEXUAL, and thus held a lopsided view of the universe . Did Socrates know the suffering of men AND  woman. I think not.

So’s I’m gettin’ a little uppity here, thinking highly of myself and whatnot, and I’m thinkin’ Hey, I’m so darned smart, I could probably larn them Naropa folks sumpin’. Sumpin’ like the Theoretical and Practical Applications of Applied Metaphysical Determinism.  Damn! Sometimes I even impress myself.

So I did a little wandering around on the website just to see if there was the slightest chance that Naropa might take pity on a lowly, aged,  impoverished, self-made philosophical FREAKIN’ GENIUS like me. And then I found this: 

Academics

The pursuit of wisdom at Naropa University means learning both about academic subjects and about one’s own place in the world. The mission of contemplative education—combining the best of Western and Eastern academic traditions—places Naropa on the cutting edge of the newest and most effective methods of teaching and learning.

One’s own place in the world?  I can’t identlfy with that.   I am the wanderer, drifting high over shark infested waters…wary of inclusive statements that don’t include me.  The statement makes the erroneous assumption  that one necessarily has a place in the world. The statement  implies that being spiritually and psychologically homeless lacks equality with having ‘ a place.’  Naropa leans toward one side of the duality. Too bad. That’s my meat and potatos. For the existence of imbalance, in my humble opinion, may only be rectified by a thorough  and rigorous process of deconstruction.  That’s my specialty. I’m the Deconstructionist.

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